The Pains of Platonicism

I came across this comic via Tumblr a few months ago, and I catch myself thinking about it from time to time.  As a young woman, I have my share of male friends.  However, I am only really close with three of them, and by "close," I mean we text each other back and forth, have solo hangouts, etc.  Normal friendship things.  Here is the comic (original post can be found here):

To me, the idea of being in "friend love" with someone is tragically beautiful.  Do/can purely platonic relationships exist between those with the same sexual orientation?  In my experience, they can't.  There's always one party who has feelings that are slightly stronger than the other's.  When it is the guy who has had more-than-friend-feelings for me, I tend to feel slightly awkward when it comes to hanging out with the person one-on-one once I find out how they feel.  It makes things a bit uncomfortable, as I feel like the guy is getting the wrong impression.  Plus, is that truly fair?  The crush is not going to vanish if you continue to remain close friends and continue to do all the things that are illustrated above.  I've been on both ends of the spectrum, and both sides equally suck, since the friendship tends to lose a certain something about it.

But what does one do when he or she has had "history," so-to-speak, with a friend?  Say, you hooked up a few times or talked about having feelings for each other, but it never really got to the level of being a romantic relationship.  In turn, this led to a "friendship hiatus" until one person decided it was time to give the platonic relationship another go.

So, the question is: In this situation, is it truly possible to be in friend love with someone?  Perhaps it's my lack of experience, or my naivety, or my skewed view of romantic relationships due to watching so many romantic comedies where everything always works out, but I can't fully believe in this "friend love" idea.  All those activities in the comic sound romantic to me; they are special and beautiful moments you share with another person.  It is a relationship without the physical activity.  And how could you not eventually find the person attractive in that physical sense?  How could you possibly not want to kiss that person?   How could both people possibly never want to be with each other romantically (ignoring that they have already found the romantic love of their life of course; but hey-- anything can happen!)??

Maybe the guy who drew that comic was the guy who experienced unrequited love, and decided that losing his friend all together would be more painful than settling for friend love.  Maybe when he says when he and his friend hang out, "swapping saliva... would be weird" because he knows she (or he-- no  judgement!!) wouldn't be cool with that.  Maybe I am thinking much too far into this!

If anyone reads this blog... what are your thoughts/opinions of platonic friendships?  Did anything I said make any sense at all, or did it sound like the diary entry of a 7th grader??? I want to hear from YOU!!!

GATSBY

Tonight I saw "The Great Gatsby."  Gatsby is one of my all-time favorite novels; I admire everything from the plot to F. Scott Fitzgerald's vivid and lively use of language.  A ton of buzz has been building around this film's release since the trailer came out about a year ago.  While the movie was originially supposed to hit theaters Christmas 2012, the release date was pushed back to May 2013 because Warner Brothers felt it would be able to "reach a wider audience" with a summer release.  According to the Los Angeles Times, the decision to move "The Great Gatsby" was done so Luhrmann could complete the 3D effects in a proper manner. The Times also reports that the film will have an all-star soundtrack, similar to Luhrmann's "Moulin Rouge!"  Warner Bros. said on Monday that the Luhrmann version "brings Fitzgerald's American classic to life in a completely immersive, visually stunning and exciting way. We think moviegoers of all ages are going to embrace it, and it makes sense to ensure this unique film reaches the largest audience possible."  

While my only experience in critiquing and writing reactions to films comes from one class I took last semester, it is safe to admit that I'm definitely not a movie buff.  However, that does not making me any less entitled to having an opinion!! I'm still a human being!!!

Having said that, I would like to note that I truly enjoyed 90% of this film.  I thought the casting was spot-on, the colors were vivid and brought Fitzgerald's words to life, the special effects were great, etc.  My only complaint is that the use of music in Gatsby was absolutely terrible.

If you haven't read the track list for TGG soundtrack, here it is:

1.   100$ Bill - JAY Z

2.   Back To Black - Beyoncé x André 3000

3.   Bang Bang - will.i.am

4.   A Little Party Never Killed Nobody (All We Got) - Fergie + Q Tip + GoonRock

5.   Young And Beautiful - Lana Del Rey

6.   Love Is The Drug - Bryan Ferry with The Bryan Ferry Orchestra

7.   Over The Love - Florence + The Machine

8.   Where The Wind Blows - Coco O. of Quadron

9.   Crazy in Love - Emeli Sandé and The Bryan Ferry Orchestra

10.  Together – The xx

11.  Hearts A Mess - Gotye

12.  Love Is Blindness – Jack White

13.  Into the Past - Nero

14.  Kill and Run - Sia

Many of these songs are great on their own, however, they were completely unfitting for this film.  This story takes place during THE JAZZ AGE and there was hardly any jazz music throughout the film!  While watching the Gatsby party scenes, I do not want to hear Jay Z playing in the background.  Was 100$ Bill released in 1922????? Did I miss something in history class????????????

The film did such a dazzling job otherwise capturing the essence of the 20's, so I was completely taken aback each time a modern song began to play.  It took away from the film as a whole, and ruined many scenes for me.  I feel like my opinion is the minority though, as social media is packed with people who think the opposite.  Were they trying to "modernize" the film to reach to a larger audience?  Why did they throw in these songs throughout the film?? Who thought this was a good idea (besides Jay Z, of course)?????????

Does anyone even read this blog??? If so, what are your thoughts? Even if you didn't see the film OR read the book (which I highly recommend reading the book before even thinking about watching the movie!), what is your stance on telling a story that takes place during a certain time period, but then using modern music to accompany the story?  Does it take away from the viewer's experience of being "transported" back to that period of time... does it remove the authenticity?

I want 2 hear from u, old sport. 

Patience is a Virtue

Now that the spring semester has come to a close, I have found myself ridden with boredom and an intense desire to fill my calendar with things to do.  So far, I've booked tickets to go to the Wendy Williams show next week,  I am judging a talent show tomorrow night, and there are a few concerts I'll be going to throughout the month.  In the meantime, however, I can't seem to take my mind off two things:

1. My final grades
2. The new Vampire Weekend album!

After four months of feeling my brain ooze from balancing multiple projects, trying to decide which minor to pick (I went with Professional Sales!), and having a slight meltdown, I am absolutely dying to see what I earned as a result of all those hours slaving over my laptop writing paragraph after paragraph.  Reflecting on what once appeared to be an un-climbable mountain of work, I now find myself at the peak looking down into an abyss.  Some professors take FOREVER to post the letters that could either make or break my "Summer of George" mood!!

One thing I KNOW I can stretch my patience for is the new Vampire Weekend album.  It has a set release date (May 14) unlike my grades, and I know I am not going to be disappointed.  Studio versions of more than half the tracks are floating around the Internet, and it's taking every iota of my will power to not listen to them all.  There's something very special about waiting three years for one of your favorite bands to record a new album-- in turn, the new album should be listened to with fresh ears from start-to-finish the way it was intended to be listened to.

Do I sound dramatic? OF COURSE.  But I've waited three years already, I can wait another 8 days.

Life is to be Lived, Not Controlled

In the monologue for her song, “Ride,” Lana del Rey mentions the idea of an “inner indecisiveness.”   As someone who deems herself as an incredibly indecisive person, I heavily resonate with this phrase, hence making it the URL of this blog.  The best way I can describe inner indecisiveness is that it’s a feeling within oneself.  You constantly question:  Where to go? What to do? What’s the destination?  Only one person can figure these things out, but how can one do so when one has no clue where to start searching? 

I blame this on my parents.

I once read somewhere that all limitations are self-imposed.  But are they, really?  

There’s a great Banksy quote that pops up all the time that often leaves me tempted to hang it somewhere on our refrigerator.  He says, “A lot of parents will do anything for their kids except let them be themselves.”

That quote sums up my parents in a nutshell.

I’m not saying my parents strip me of my individuality or anything like that, but they definitely try to keep me in this bubble of safety in order to “protect” me from having “bad” experiences.  BUT, in order to grow as a human being, doesn’t the bad have to come with the good?

My parents need to know every single thing I do.  Where I go, who I’m with, what time I’ll be home, etc.  It’s as if they expect me to draw out a detailed map for the smallest outings, such as going to a movie with a friend on a Friday night.  And everything I do must have some sort of rationale behind it.  If there is no reason, there is no point.  Sometimes I want to hop the bus or train to New York so I can aimlessly walk around just to have a change in god damn scenery, but that is beyond comprehension of course.  And besides, going to the city… ALONE… during the DAY??? UNTHINKABLE!

My “problem” is that I have a major lust for life.  I want to see the world. I want to live! I’m in my 20’s now and soon enough I’ll have to be a real adult (I still haven’t fully grasped that concept yet…).  Isn’t this the prime time for me to be exploring life’s buffet?  I don’t want to wake up feeling like a gray blob of dullness each morning, I want to wake up with passion!

One of my professors today actually told us to “pick your passion(s)” while we have the chance.  She told us to travel, to put our trivial responsibilities on hold, to fully enjoy life while we can.  I wish my parents thought like that— anytime I start talking about those kinds of things, they think college has somehow brainwashed me. It has absolutely nothing to do with college, but it has everything to do with knowing there is a whole wide world of different opportunities and moments just waiting to be seized.

WIll I ever have control over my life? Sometimes I fear that my parents will never be able to understand that I so desperately need to find myself, to love myself, to start my journey.  Without control, I just feel powerless and defeated.

Welcome 2 My Blog

Hello all:

It has been quite some time since I've visited Blogspot, which is apparently now called "Blogger." When did that happen???? (or was it always called Blogger?? I DON'T REMEMBER!!!)

Nevertheless, part of me has very much missed writing and occasionally posting pictures on this site. In the time since I stopped posting on my original blog, "Let's Go Blogging!," in 2010, I entered the dark side-- Tumblr.  I don't mean that in a negative way though; Tumblr is a great site. Many funny, original posts, music discoveries, links to interesting videos, news updates, pointless jabber, etc., (among other things) can be found there.  However, I often find myself being sucked into the Tumblr Black Hole, which is when you start scrolling down your dashboard with the intention of giving yourself a homework break, but then glance at the clock and realize you've been doing absolutely nothing productive for 4+ hours (unless you want to count exercising your fingers, you know, from all that scrolling...).

I was considering reactivating "Let's Go Blogging!," just because it goes allllll the way back to 2008, but then I realized that it might be better to start again with a clean slate.  So naturally, I've decided to call this blog "Let's Go Blogging! 2.0!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! " (God, I am SO original!)  Also, many of those LGB! 1.0 posts are embarrassing because a majority of them were written when I was 14/15.  Ahhh, the strange, early years of adolescence!

So, here's my official introduction!!!

My name is Michelle and I am a freshly-turned 20 year old college student from NJ.  I am majoring in Public Relations and minoring in Professional Sales.  I (think I) am currently undergoing that douchey college phase most, if not all, students experience while attending post-secondary school.  I have no idea what I'd like to do upon graduating, and the future really freaks me out.  I'd like to travel, and my only goal as of right now is to pop the bubble that has become my reality (thanks, overprotective parents!).  I will most likely expand on this idea of the bubble in a later post.

Until I find a cool mirror to take a selfie in, here's a super awkward picture of me and Paul Rudd from a few months back:

 

I could ramble on and on, but then no one would bother to come back and read this blog.  Heck, maybe you've already decided you no longer wish to continue reading this blog!  What do I know?!

But I'd like to leave on a suspenseful note...

So, until the next post... ADIEU!